Ramadan Prank

Time has become binary for Ammi. When I call her and ask when she will visit her sister or when she will get the doors painted, she says ‘After Ramadan’ or ‘Before Ramadan’. That makes me realize Ramadan is starting in the next month.

Growing up, Ramadan was a month of biryanis and fritters, lemonades and sherbets, but that particular Ramadan, I remember, was special for another reason.

My two elder sisters and I were fasting on the holy Fridays of Ramadan that year. Ammi bought 1.5 liters of milk from the milkman Thursday evening instead of the regular 1 liter to give each one of us a cup for sehri.

Friday morning, Ammi woke us up around 4.00 and started cooking fresh rotis to serve with the leftover curry from dinner. She asked us to hurry because we could eat only until the faraway sound of azaan floated in through our kitchen window. But we drank the milk slowly, licking our lips after every sip, to savor the creamy flavor.

We weren’t sleepy after we ate, so I suggested we pick the telephone directory and call some Muslim houses anonymously to wish them a happy Ramadan. They’d be awake anyway and calls IDs or call-tracking were unheard of — so some safe fun. My sisters agreed, as always.

The telephone was installed in our house just before Ramadan. It came with a fixed number of free calls every month, courtesy Father’s employer.

I shut the door to our parents’ bedroom, where Father was sleeping, and called some Mr. Hasan’s house from the directory but couldn’t control my giggles when someone answered the phone. A couple more attempts by me and my elder sister failed.

My eldest sister, probably thirteen or fourteen at the time, then took charge. She turned her back to us, faced the wall, and dialed some Mr. Ali’s number and started wishing them a happy Ramadan. We sat with our palms mortared to our mouths to stop laughing. A woman picked up next and started chatting with my sister about what dishes she was planning to cook for Eid.

Ammi entered our room after winding up the kitchen, spread her prayer mat on the floor beside our bed, and started her prayers. I motioned my sister to stop the phone conversation but she was too deep into it. Ammi’s lips broke into a smile in the middle of her prayer. She must have been hearing us from the kitchen, as always.

After that call, we put away the phone and pretended to sleep but Ammi said, “Who are we calling next?” She snuggled into our bed and suggested we call a family friend to ask about the health of their son, and another one to ask for a place to buy reasonably-priced bangles for Eid. My eldest sister was an expert by then and our bellies hurt from laughing at the responses.

Next day and for all of the next week, we practiced modulating our voices to sound different in preparation for Friday. Come next Friday, my elder sister and I could call too, without giggling.

Some of the people we called chatted heartily because telephone was a novelty, some revealed family secrets, some tried hard to uncover our identity, and some threatened to call the police.

We continued this prank every Friday morning of Ramadan. For us, sisters, it was fun that didn’t cost a penny. For Ammi, it might have been a reprieve from the grind of taking care of a big family, especially when fasting for the whole month.

On Eid, the neighborhood women came to greet Ammi. When I was serving them bowls of seviyan, I heard them talk about some naughty but well-mannered children calling their houses early mornings of Ramadan.

Ammi scrunched up her face and said, “Don’t know why parents allow kids to use the phone like a toy. Bad times, sisters.”

Glossary:

Ramadan: the ninth month of the Muslim year, during which strict fasting is observed from sunrise to sunset.
Sehri : Pre-dawn meal before a day-long fast
Azaan: Islamic call to worship
Eid : the Muslim festival marking the end of the fast of Ramadan
Seviyan : Sweet vermicelli cooked on Eid