Dressing up for their anniversary dinner– flowing chiffon with a ruby pendant around her neck. Smoked salmon, chardonnay, his loving gaze!
Doorbell interrupts the piano playing in her head. Cheeks ablaze, she peeks through the keyhole.
A white lily stares.
No red roses?
Mom?
Yes, darling.
Mascara runs.
How sad for her that he isn't coming!
The build up, love it. I enjoyed the constant reminders of red. I pictured your MC's anticipation. And the ending, though a little predictable by your title, still caught me off guard as I didn't take the title into account. The denouement though, was not very clear to me. It left me with a lot of questions.
I like the way you used short, punchy sentences to emphasise the sense of disconnect in this piece.
the last line made my eyes moist.
Thanks Joshua for taking time to review!Maybe,I should've included more subtle hints but I wanted to leave things unsaid which is hard for me.Trying to get better at that.
Yes, broke my heart too:(
Thanks Asha!
Yes, mine too:(
Nice use of the lily as a symbol!
Thanks Christine!
Beautiful work here! Those last few solitary lines really drive the message home.
Thanks for reading!