My sallow eyes watch torrents of rain
Lashing the glass windows
Of my chic office on the seventeenth floor
I can’t hear the tinkling of drops
Or the rumbling of clouds
All sounds obscured by engineered acoustics
I shut my eyes for a moment
Monsoon of my country
Whispers in my ear, dances in my mind
Rain looked, smelled and sounded different back home
Falling sonorously on the tin roof of our shed
Scrubbing the green mangoes on our tree to a shine
Smelling of quenched earth
And onion fritters frying in mom’s kitchen
Rain, rain, I pray, do me a favor today
Wash away my sagacity and wisdom
Seep into my locked pores
Free out the innocent child I was once
Lick my tired hands
To once more transform
Scraps of paper into boats
Dilute my blood now viscous
Into frothy ebullience tingling my veins
Tousle and crush my silk parasol
Soak me head to toe in sky’s curative waters
Drain away the worldly perfumes
And bring back to me unsullied petrichor.
This was a beautiful piece of nostalgia. Your words were chosen so well, and really grounded the poem. I loved the almost melodic tone, as well.
I love the comparisons of the rain you used to know and the rain happening in the here and now. Thanks for sharing!
Your piece was an excellent read – especially to me whom reads less poetry than I would like.
I loved the journey you took me on. Not only across time but across countries.
I loved going from the faceless city to the honest, homely India(?). There was life in the simplicity of the past and the writer misses that. I loved this theme and the imagery was clear and colourful.
I do have one criticism/comment. I loved the start of your piece but I got lost towards the end because I felt the wording got too heavy. The more complicated language detracted from the simplicity and clarity of image and took away from the rhythm of the previous lines.
You have my vote 🙂
Thanks GLVenn for your feedback.I will keep this in mind next time.
Thanks Lily and Unknown:)
I am extremely impressed along with your writing abilities, Thanks for this great share.
I really enjoyed this poem, particularly how easy it was to understand and follow. I like how you juxtaposed pure poetry with images like "chic office on the seventeenth floor" that seem so unpoetic…until they make it into a poem.
Thanks for your comments Michelle!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
The imagery you offered of the place you are missing was very effective, Sara. The mangoes, the tin roof, fried onions, I had a clear picture despite the fact that you never told us a specific location.
Thanks James for reading and commenting.I should have written, it is about India,my country.
Greetings! Very helpful advice within this article! It is the little changes which will make the largest
changes. Thanks for sharing!
very informative post for me as I am always looking for new content that can help me and my knowledge grow better.
This is great! I love good rain poems and what you have done in this one. Simon’s Still Stanza #WATWB
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