Cant shop with(out) them!!

Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Can’t shop with them, can’t shop without them!!

 To the husband community-wife loves to shop, you don’t. Wife loves to look around and ponder and mentally mix-and-match the items-under-consideration with her existing wardrobe and then select and then try things on before buying. That – stretches your patience and endurance beyond the realm of elasticity because you are a rational person who believes in three simple steps- pick, pay and get out!!

 You want me to buy what the mannequins are wearing so we don’t spend your precious time looking but you don’t realize that that’s the newest arrival with the hottest price and I would wait for it to be not-so-new and available at a lukewarm price so that I can buy two things for the price of one. Your answer to this color or that is always- take both, they’re both good and if you do pick one color, it’s almost always the exact hue that I have. Whatever style I pick looks worn-out or not-worth-it to you. When I try clothes on, you microscopically find flaws with all of them-whats special about this, this is so beat-up etc etc.

 Whenever I insist on going to a store which has a SALE going on, you expertly say that it’s a scam. If I spend more than 15 minutes in a store, your belly starts growling and your blood glucose levels falls to a point where we have to rush to a restaurant for instant resuscitation.

 At times, I like to go all by myself and go around shopping and hopping but then I need you to reach out that appealing stuff in the higher shelves or I need you to bug the salesperson for the color/size I want. Sometimes I secretly want you to talk me out of buying some stuff.

 Plus, I want you to hold the umbrella while I store hop when its raining outside. I need you to find the closest parking spot when its snowing.

 And I need you to carry my shopping bags because remember- you are the strong one!

 Is that too much to ask for?