Much has been said and documented about the differences between the occupants of Venus and Mars, the glorious women and men,but more than that remains to be discovered and thought of.They dont have a scintilla of commonality.Only a biologist can put them in the same category Homo Sapiens
Let us here consider Mr X, a boy/man and his friendship with other boys/men.
In Mr X’s student life ,when he was at college he had a bunch of friends, boys, young and exuberant.If a college girl went up and spoke to him ever, he would have to bear the embarrassment of oohs and aahs from those bunch of hooligans watching him.But never mind, at least at this moment he held the centrestage.Once back to the group they would enjoy the exaggerated account of that brief interaction with a girl.
If a bosom friend visited Mr X at home, it would just be for them to get on the two-wheeler and zoom off to greener pastures,where some girls would be grazing.Eye-tonic as they call it.Or it would be to sneak out for a cigarette.Never would his friends come and see his family.
So what did Mr X share with his friends- encounters with girls and cigarettes.
This is what is the crux of their friendship!!
No display of self, feelings.I would say it is a cocooned friendship.
A man can never display his feelings to his friend, lest he would be made the laughing stock of the group.Being friends for them is just all about pulling legs,calling names.It is fun, but is this all that matters.
Now our Mr X fell in love with a girl and confessed to his friends group.The responses-
“Is she hot, a bombshell?
What are her physical statistics?”
So much for pouring out his heart to them.
It seems thing didnt work out and one of Mr X’s friends swept off the girl.Mr X was shattered,heartbroken.What did the guys tell him- “OK stud, dont be senti.”
Mr X wanted a shoulder to lean on but all he got was a cold shoulder.He dare not shed one tear or he would be labeled sissy.He has to keep his macho image intact.He is a stud, no bone of emotion in him.
A woman/girl is not ashamed to be a jumble of emotions spread out in front of her friend and that friend of mine can sort and disentangle those threads.
Do men ever shed tears?Do they cry in the restroom?
Tears are nature’s provision to wash away sorrows, but is it restricted to only women?
Men can never know what it means to cry on your friend’s shoulder.It is a womens’ prerogative and I feel blessed by it.Sharing tears with a friend has a salutary effect, not capable of being put in words.
Only a woman can talk heart-to-heart with her friend,speaking of which,do men have hearts at all?Assuming they have, they are not allowed to show it.Biceps and heart dont go together.It is a rule of the Mars world.
Keeping on the track of Mr X, he landed a job, worked real hard and soon got a promotion.
If this thing ever got mentioned to any of his hand-and-glove friends, that friend would shrug it off with alacrity-
“Oh, that son-of-a-bitch jerk just got lucky, no big deal!!”
So he earned these nouns,adjectives for his toil.
If it was my friend getting a promotion,being a woman, I would have spoken of her dedication and talent amidst a group.I would have appreciated her.There lies the difference.
If Mr X wanted some information from his friend, he would beat about the bush,twist and turn the matter,then put forth his question because as soon as this friend meets a third one,those two would joke about how ignorant Mr X was and made sure it hit the news headlines.
Men have to be I-know-all, I-can-handle-all in front of friends.While as a woman I would never hesitate from asking anything under the sun from my friend.I can be weak or ignorant but she will accept me with open arms.
Now Mr X is a mature man – again an oxymoron,can a man ever be mature?
He has got a wife and family.If his friends visit him, they would speak business and politics, but as soon as the wife is out-of-sight,they would be sharing titbits about women at their workplaces.
So a revelation has just dawned on me, the glue that binds mens’ friendship is women.They wouldnt be friends if it were not for the fairer sex.