One of these days,I happened to browse through a matrimonial site,the one that pops up when I open my e-mail,and I am flabbergasted at the listing of expectations of these modern day eligible bachelors and their reverend parents looking for a bride.
Height 5-2″ to 5-6″,slim/very slim,fair/very fair,modern yet traditional,professionally qualified yet not career oriented,must love cooking,must respect elders and mix with children,adaptable,flexible,a believer in joint family,religious,charming,a friend more than a wife, a daughter rather than a daughter-in-law….the list never ends.
Gimme a break!!
Is it a real flesh-and-blood woman you are seeking or a she-robot with your desirable attributes programmed in.
Also I would like to add to this list,the implicit but ever so existing desire of every husband/parent-in-law – “Thou should be able to produce a baby boy to carry on the family name.” If I remember my biology classes correct, the omnipotent Y chromosome that makes a baby boy, is the contribution of dad.I want to engrave this learning on a stone and embed it in every wall of every expectant woman’s house.So that if a baby girl is born, all fingers point to the great man.
OK coming back to the desirable bride,some of your wishes may be granted you bride-hunters if you see the cover of the package – adorned in red, bedizened with ornaments, the treat for the eyes, the doll-like Indian bride may be fair,slim,5-6″ if you insist.But rest assured it is just the cover of the gift delivered at your doorstep.Once you open the gift, the real woman inside, you dont know. And you can be allured by the gift wrap for sometime.
Because what you expect to get out of her is directly a result of what you have to offer her.What you are dealing with is a human being, and an adult one at that.
She is no doll.
And I believe that no human, er no woman is evil.Every young girl waits for the prince charming of her life, to make a little home for herself, to live happily ever after. She has no wrong intention in her mind and heart.
Let me try to analyze these golden expectations of the groom side based on what I have seen in real life, these are thankfully not my experiences.At this moment I would like to thank the Almighty that the oh-so-big package that I received in marriage is more wonderful than I deserve.
First of all my all-time favorite – professionally qualified but not career-oriented!! What an oxymoron.
This girl who lived and breathed for that piece of paper called degree, who burnt the midnight oil for it, should not have a job/career after marriage bcoz they plan to get rid of some domestic help.Her purpose in life was to get a husband who earns,isnt it solved?Die you,career and ambition.
Next Mr Groom wants a friend more than a wife – vow finally a believer in equality of sexes.An equal opportunity employer at last!!
But hang on, this friend for life should not complain of sacrificing her sweetest morning dreams, should rise and shine with the sun and bring a cup of bed tea for him with just the right amount of sugar in it.She must conjure up new dishes to entice his palate everyday.Well if your idea of a friend is just an acquaintance, if you are complacent at the peripheral level of friendship, you sure got a friend.But if you venture to delve into the core, she is no friend, she is a seething volcano just waiting to erupt.But dont worry some volcanoes always are dormant, harmless,they never erupt,so you might be safe but dont doubt that the fact that she is a volcano.
OK enough of husband-bashing!
Now lets turn to – daughter rather than daughter-in-law rule.
After marriage,this girl shall seek the permission of parents in law to see her parents by nature.The length of this time will be recorded and replayed again when she pleads to see them.
Does that sound rude? So it is.
And if a grandchild is not invented within a year of marriage, they will not shirk from questioning her fertility.This is the right they have earned by raising a boy upto the marriageable age.
One more rule – a believer in joint family.Lets take a pick on that.
If she seeks a vacation, some time away from the humdrum life, away from responsibilities she has to take the whole joint family in tow.
Now I can feel my blood reaching its boiling point.Lets not lose focus.
So winding up the moral of the story is, I believe,that love begets love.Respect begets respect.Do unto her what you expect her to do unto you.No listing of the qualities in the matrimonials will give you that dream woman.Even a dog knows when to dig its teeth and when to wag its tail.And look at her,she is from the most evolved human er woman species.She knows better than an animal.
Finally if you want a woman who is a giver always,go and propose to a she-saint and I would like to know the result!!